An Entirely Different Type of Struggle…

2 months since I last blogged. 2 months worth of programmes have hit my email inbox & they’re still sat….waiting…..if email could have dust, they’d probably be covered in a thick, almost lint-like fuzz.

Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh.

I feel apathetic about it though.  I still cycle. A lot.  However, I can count on one hand how many times I’ve been to the gym since my depression diagnosis.  I.Still. Cannot. Gym.

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It’s not for a lack of trying. I think.  I’ve been to yoga quite frequently & have new physio things to do – which I’ve kept up with.

I set my alarm to get up to go to the gym before work (which I used to do & I’d cycle 6 miles just to GET to the gym) but I turn it off & sleep for another hour, meaning when I get up I have to bike to work, no gym time and I HATE gymming on an evening.  My gym is small & bench/weight hoggers are in on an evening, so no thank you.

I feel like I’m making excuses but no matter what time I go to bed, I still can’t bring myself to get up.

It feels like a rut, stuck in a hole with no way out….

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I have no idea if the meds I’m on are the reason I can no longer get up unless I REALLY have to.  I should look into it.

 

I was gonna add more, but that’s it for now.

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